If I walk out that door tomorrow, that is something I will continue to do. You saved my life." Wow!" I said. "I didn't think I was THAT controlling, o... appeared to be that controlling. I DO want to let the relationship take its own course, but I might be trying to pull the reigns unknowingly, I might add. I do not want to see you hurt, especially when I could be the one hurting you. That end is becoming more remote right now as it appears we are on the same page. If we end up hurting each other. . no, nobody has taken my money, I just haven't got around to it yet ... yes, I know that I shouldn't skip meals ... no, that's okay, I'm going out tonight ... yes really ... oh, that could work, I have to be back by the evening though, I'm going out ... no, today and tomorrow, and Sunday ... yes, all three ... no I'm not in any trouble ... no I haven't joined a gang ... no, I am not becoming a chav ... or taking drugs ... okay, yes, so is that all you want? Yes, bye."The guys could hardly keep. The stories I used to read here really spurred my cravings higher and boldness too. I never had the courage or chance to try out, though. Until once I visited my grandparents. They live alone in a village area amidst a rubber plantation and I used to visit them occasionally and stay for a few days. Near their house, there was a room sort of set up for Bengali workers to stay. They used to use the water facilities provided by my granddad.Every evening they would come over to our place and bathe. Khana khate time hum baatein karne lage to maine use pucha ke tumara koi boyfriend nai hai tab wo boli nahi mera koi boyfriend nai hai main kisi ko pasand nai ati tab maine kaha kyu tumhare mein kya kami hai to wo boli ki mere simple rehne ke karan koi mujse baat nai karta. Tab maine kaha mai to tumhe kabhi mana nai karunga agar tum meri girl friend banna chohogi to wo pehle sharmayi aur phir apne room me chali gayi. Agle din wo subah 6 baje chai ke cup ke sath uthate hue boli jaanu utho chai.
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Why didn't I remember such things when needed? Heck, we'd allbeen there when Jessica had her breakdown, so why didn't I remember howit wasn't needed."
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