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Honestly, I was about half buzzed, and I thought I would kill two birds with one stone. I would put the stupidest rant I could think of on the site, a...d be able to look my sister in the eye and tell her I actually tried it. I wouldn't get any hits, and sis would leave me alone. I fired up the computer.Punching in the user number I was assigned, I placed my profile."Short, bald, fat, ugly, broke guy with small penis seeks tall, thin woman, teeth optional, for correspondence and possible. We both had to lean in pretty close to eachother to hear what the other was saying.After a little small talk, she said she was heading out and that she would shake my hand this time. So she shook my hand and leaned in and we said our goodbyes. But when she stood up straight, she kept a hold of my hand and just smiled at me for a few seconds. I was starting to feel kind of awkward until she looked around and then leaned back in and with her mouth right next to my ear, and said, "Do you remember. ”“Yo-you’re blackmailing me,” I said, surprised, she was a very nice woman and I didn’t think Jane would go that low.“Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer to think of it as suggestive decision making.”“O.K.” I said hesitantly, “If that’s the only way. How do we start?”She looked at me with a bored expression, as if the answer was obvious. “we kiss, dumbass,”“Oh, right,” I reluctantly leaned back and to the side, puckered my lips and kissed my girlfriend’s mom. In a word it was awesome! . I was greeted outside the surprising small"parlor" it was basically a small studio/office space (around 350 sq/ft was my best guess) and looked over suspiciously by an middle aged slender asian women. She then invited me into the somewhat cramped parlor which was dimly lit. This was my first madssage ever but it seemed pretty standard. I was told to disrobe while she took my money into another room.She then returned and administered the full body massage she was gentle and didn't shy away from.
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